I just registered because I feel like sometimes I've exhausted all my friend resources. And, like you, people don't want to hear my real thoughts when the darkness comes. It scares them. I understand I really do, but when I pour out my darkest thoughts, the fear that if I experience one more night like last night, that it will become my last night, then it becomes more about the pain I'm causing them.

So I get it. Sometimes you just have to throw it out there into the ether to people who don't know you. Who if they saw you walking down the street wouldn't know what you feeling. But on here they do. You are free to be who you are. You can say things like "my brain is broken" without people saying "no, it's not! stop saying things like that."

At least I hope this is a place like this.

I'm sorry it's coming. I wish I knew how to stop it.