not sure if this helps , wrote this last year on here.......
its part of a whole thing I wrote

know that life can get better and hopefully will for you....also note that in what i wrote does not say at one point in my life was 25,000 in dept, Worked really hard and did pay it all off.
Had to have been a god thing as I say, this is a page out of my story or as I use to say postum note
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All the time growing up all I ever wanted was a husband and
children, and a store. My Mom and I would talk for hours about this.
You see I had dated this guy for ten years and it was going no where.
I mean bang your head on the table saying to myself "God are you
sure...." that is how no where it was going.
One night four days before Christmas I went out to meet my sister
at the local bar. It was a odd because I did not go out a lot.
Upon getting there I sat at that bar. My sister was talking to some
guys. One being my husband now. We looked at each other and it was
like the movies. nothing else in the room mattered. The guy who was
talking to me at the time about his yacht, well I could not hear him
any more. Life stood still. " That's when I said " YES GOD THIS IS MY
LIFE".
My husband much to his parents disapproval went out and bought
rings a week latter. I only knew because his friend spilled the beans.
Needless to say six months later we were off to Massachusetts to
start a new life. We left with a car payment and one thousand dollars
each. What on earth were we thinking.
We got almost all our furniture at a local dump. " High quality
dump , mind you" Some where's about four months into this we realized
we were poor. Could have been because we were getting food out of
dumpsters, you know that should have gave us a clue. But you know how
love is. It was not till the day he called me after I got out of work
and told me a turkey had just been hit . I should go pick it out of
the road and it would be dinner. "What Dinner?" Again with the
thought. " God are you sure this is my life"
He also did taxidermy,"Which I hated" But you know with love you
put up with these things.
One day while having a friend over . I got something out of the
freezer that I thought was meat. After a time that I thought it was
defrosted , I opened it with my friend sitting at the table. Much to
my Dismay it was a skull. I screamed threw it back in the freezer and
sat down and Said " God are you sure this is my life??"
What the heck road kill turkey dinner, dumpster food and skulls in
the freezer?? Some thing
is wrong with this picture. I think about then is when my Dad had his
second nervous break down. " Yea me too, I wish"
So with all this in mind and my husbands plant closing. We hitched
up our trailer we had bought. What am I in some I love Lucy movie? We
moved as close to back home as we could get with a trailer. Of course
closing my eyes and putting my finger on a spot on the map to move to
was really not
a good way to do it.
Once again I say god are you sure this is my life? A little voice
back said " Yuppers" and theres more to come ............