I'm in my first time in therapy. I've been in 2 years now. Today I finally poured my heart out to my T about how attached I am to him. I told him that I had to be totally honest with him. I've been wanting to tell him this for a while, but I've been scared he would cut me off that I was getting too close.

I know I've read on here a million times it happens to everyone and it's normal. My T had kept telling me how strong I was and I had to tell him I am not strong. That was all a defense. I need him badley. If I was cut off from him now I would be devastated. He said a lot of people leave at this point. They don't like that dependency. He said we pull you in and hold on to you as you heal then slowly let you go, like a baby bird. I don't like the let you go part.

I think the attachment has to be there or you won't open up. He said that he is the first man that I had a safe relationship with. I told him it's such little things that make me feel good. Last session he called me intelligent. That meant a lot to me. I've cried every time I thought about it. I'm numb to being called dumb or stupid. I've been called that all my life. It's really hard for me to accept compliments. I feel people are just saying it to make me feel good or they want something, they don't really mean it.

i know what you mean, this attachment stuff is scary, but I'm already there so i'm going to have to deal with it. I'm just hoping when the time comes I won't feel this way.