I think when we need people it can be very hard to be "honest" with them and let them know what works and what doesn't work because we're afraid they'll leave us. We think we'll leave them "first" so we don't have to feel the pain but relationships don't work that way and a lot of what is going on is just going on in our heads/imaginations. It is hard learning to check out the reality of what is going on and then learning to respond to that reality no matter what it is and whether we like it, etc.