Really sorry to hear of your misfortune. I had a different problem - I needed a divorce but when depressed I felt stuck and helpless, and wasn’t hypomanic long enough to follow through. I finally was hypomanic enough to leave my situation and couldn’t figure out why I didn’t feel better till I got my BP II diagnosis. Now with some perspective I more clearly see my negative contributions to the relationship. I’m relieved to know I still made the right decision, but it’s very humbling to know how much damage I caused when ill, and I have to own that. For your partner, maybe giving some resources to read and specifically taking responsibility for the damage you caused while ill will help? I hope so. That’s really the best you can do, and all any of us can do is the best we can under the circumstances at
The time.