I've looked through all the forums and this seems like the only appropriate place for me to ask my question, but I apologize if I should have posted it elsewhere.
I’m a 29 year old; I have my degree in psychology. I’m hoping for some insight on why I might be having the thoughts and feelings that I do about my own physical appearance. I've had mental health professionals tell me that finding the etiology of this problem isn't as important as treating it moving forward, but I can't help but feel that there might be a key in my past that will help unlock the solution.
Although I don’t talk about it, I am inwardly obsessed with the idea of people finding me attractive. I understand that a lot of women probably feel this way, as we’ve had the importance of beauty bombarding us from all sides as we’ve grown up. But I believe that my thoughts and feelings are much stronger, more intense, and probably abnormal in many ways.
I’ve been both bulimic and anorexic on and off since I was 15. I’m aware of the general understanding that eating disorders are often about control. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on why I have the issues with food that I do, and I’m positive that for me, it’s not about control but solely about wanting to be physically desirable.
I often go through phases where I obsess about getting plastic surgery. I’ve gone so far as to meet with a plastic surgeon and to look into taking out a loan for surgery, but my husband wasn’t in support of the idea and in the end, I’m not desperate enough about it to put us into debt over this desire.
The ONLY thing that turns me on sexually, is to be complimented on my physicality. If a stranger online compliments me, I’m instantly horny. I’m a staunch feminist, and I wouldn’t say this in any other forum as I believe that it would minimize the more important voices of woman who feel threatened by it, but I love being cat called.
I don’t care at all if people compliment my intelligence or sense of humor. It even feels like an insult when they do because I’d prefer them to be complimenting my appearance in some way.
While at one point in my life I was definitely consumed by self-hatred, I don’t feel that way anymore. On most days I feel pretty neutral about my appearance. I just have this deep, deep seated yearning to be praised for my physical beauty. It seems like the only thing that really satisfies me or makes me feel (what feels like genuine) happiness.
Developmentally, I'm wondering if anyone could give me ideas on what could have happened to me to make me this way? It's been suggested to me many times that I have been sexually abused at a young age but I have no recollection of that. I wonder if there might be something in the way I was raised or a certain type of attachment style of parenting that might have led to this? Or really ANY ideas would be greatly appreciated.

(Sidenote: I've also had four major depressive episodes in my live, struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and have also use self harm as a coping mechanism in the past.)