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Old Jan 19, 2008, 08:02 PM
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RiverX RiverX is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 587
Is BPD bipolar personality disorder, or borderline pd?

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If I tell them how I feel then I'm worried they will put me in hospital against my will or stop coming to see me. Maybe it's best to just try and cope with life alone....maybe I am a danger to other people.

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What I have found out is theres the 'exile disorder', and in it there are two positions which we ricochet from one to the other. One is the exile position where we pull away from others, or are rejected by others, or on the other side of this, others have too much power over us and are (or seem) sadistic and liable to exploit, use, overpower, 'enslave' us. (eg put you in hospital against your will). This other position is called the 'slave-master' position. (nice hu?), and we tend to iether find ourselves in one or the other, or find a compromise between these positions, a place that feels relatively safe, not too close and not too far. Like, me having relationships in cyber world. Needing people puts one in close contact with them one is truly vulnerable to them.
theres loads writtten about this, theres an attempt to translate this into humanese only its unfinished, if you like, check out

selfinexile.com

All this may not apply to you, but if it does, you'll probably get a sense about it.
I had such intense feelings about my T. had endless conversations in my head with her, and confrontations with her when I wasnt in session with her, it took over my head, not psychosis, but I was pretty well powerless over controlling this process. It was taking over, fantasy relationships taking over from real life because I failerd repeatedly to really stand by my truth when in the interaction with her. This remains unresolved for me, I left therapy to recover!

warmest,

riverx
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