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Originally Posted by Merlin
I talked with my pdoc today and he’s not giving up on me. We talked about how I have a tough illness, bipolar in my case, though I post here because it’s mostly just depression. I still think it’s hopeless but we talked about trying ECT again. He’s going to contact the pdoc who did it for me last time at the University. Neither of us could remember the name. In my defence, my memory of that time is a little spotty. I don’t know what my pdoc’s excuse is, the guy was one of his residents. We decided that I would wait until my next appointment to restart meds. I’m going say that I’d prefer not to use the antipsychotics because of the weight gain and I’m vetoing Zyprexa specifically. I’m not sure about Lithium, I can’t take it without gagging, but I know that’s psychological rather than physiological.
That’s part of why I stopped taking my meds. I’m gagging on all meds these days though even Advil for headaches and I’ll make myself take those so I could probably force myself to take meds again even if it’s unpleasant. I think I will have to take some sort of med with the ECT because last time the ECT was working until it triggered a mixed episode and we discontinued it.
My pdoc said he’ll find a time next week for an appointment for me though he wants to make his referral calls first. |
+I hope you & your Pdoc can find something that will work for you. I know from personal experences that life is hard. Major depression is very hard. I fight with it every day. We don't have assisted suicide in the us. If a person talks about it for them selves, they are put into a psy ward for at least 72 hours. Each state calls it something different. I live in the state of Georgia, and they call it a 1013. If this happends to you here, you are sent to a mental hospital, and are on suicide watch 24/7. You aren't allowed into a regular room, you have to sit in like a TV room, so they can see you all the times, until you convince them that at least for that night, you will not hurt your self. I understand that people change there minds, and the problem that caused a person to consider this may change, so the medical field thinks that if something changes in that person's life, they may change there minds about suicide. From my knowlage this takes time. Most people want a quick fix, but that almost never happends with MI. We Must give things time to work, because what are our options if we don't? It all comes down to Life, or Death. Do you want to put all who love you through this, and know that once you are gone, that is permanent? Once you are gone, you can't talk with the people who love you, who you love, or ever total strangers, like me. Everything will be gone, and after awhile people will go on with there lives without you, and only bring your name up every now, and then. I ask you, who would be the one hurt the worst? (you!!!) I don't know if this will help you, but I hope it does make you think a little, I Have Been in Your Shoes a Few times, and I am still here.......
