You have been under so much worth-denying stress for so much of your life that I can see how you have had trouble valuing yourself. I heartily endorse your idea of getting a job, at least part-time. Without getting out of the house to a job, I'm afraid you are just too isolated. I'm living that, myself, right now (as a caregiver) and I'm starting to literally talk to myself for lack of human interaction. You're too young to sit in a recliner in front of the TV for hours everyday. For your generation, that can lead to excess involvement with cyberspace, as an alternative. That is not "reality" either. It's unhealthy for a number of reasons. With a job, you spend some time around real flesh-and-blood humans. There'll be some warmth of human contact. You'll have a few laughs. At the end of the day, you'll have material to churn in your mind about real human beings who become increasingly interesting the more time you spend with them. There'll be some irritations, but you've dealt with worse.

So I hope you do look for and find a place where you could hire on. I floundered in restaurant settings and know how stressful they can be. Once, though, I worked in a little family owned coffee shop and it was a nice experience. So keep an open mind. Chain run franchises can be impersonal. Something owner-operated might be nicer for you. Small retail shops are often needing help. Commit to staying for 6 months. How a job feels initially can often be deceptive. Volunteer work is also an option worth considering.

I think "lazy" is not a fair assessment. "Demoralized" would be more accurate, IMHO. Cut the toxic influences out of your life, while exposing yourself to some reasonably normal specimens of humanity, and you may reprogram your mind. Good luck.