well i just wanted to update everyone about my session with T on friday, if you care!

I definitely achieved the "therapy high". The session was pretty amazing. I went in and we started talking about the message i left on her machine crying because of something that happened that night. Last session we ended saying we will continue our conversation about my emails next time. Well, since something came up, we talked about that the majority of the time. Then randomly a stink bug flew in the room and T JUMPED up so fast and it landed on her chair. she took a tissue and made it crawl onto the tissue then she took it outside and layed the tissue down because it wouldn't fly off. She also told me that many of her clients have complimented my collage that i gave her for xmas and they ask if i'm an artist. she said i really should do more of them. With about 5 minutes left of the session i brought up how we never finished the conversation about my emails. She asked what it was i felt was unresolved and we talked a lot about that. When i asked her about boundaries that are different for dif clients she said like she feels comfortable putting her feet up and eating infront of me but not all of her clients. she says she only hugs some of them depending on the relationship they have. she described our boundaries like how her 2 year old son wants cookies for breakfast. The answer is No but there really isn't an explanation, its just because its whats best for him. She said thats what my situation reminds her of. That i wouldn't understand it. but i have to accept it....at the end i was very relieved to have talked about all of this and i left feeling good. We talked for a half hour over the usual time! When she ended she made sure i was ok with everything before she said it was time to go.

Today i was at work. I scoop ice cream. I walk out of the back because i saw customers lined up and GUESS who was there. T, her little boy, and her husband. My jaw nearly dropped but i hid it and i gave her a big smile and she smiled at me. All of a sudden i go sooooo nervous. My heart was pounding and i couldn't concentrate on what i was doing. I had to wait on someone that was before her and i gave him the wrong amount of change back! Then my co worker got ice cream for her little boy and i asked her if there was anything else, and i scooped ice cream for my T <3 <3 i put an extra scoop in there. She didn't really talk to me. (not that i was expecting her to.) but i dunno, when i imagined seeing her outside of the office i imagined us not acting like we dont know each other. I know they can't do or say anything because of confidentiality but i acknoweledged i knew her and smiled and said hi. But i guess i could have done that with someone i didn't know.... i dunno. i was kinda disappointed how that went. She didn't even say bye. The rest of the night i was sooo off and she was all i could think about. I couldnt concentrate with anything. I came home feeling really depressed and all i can say is that i miss her. I wish i could have spent time with her. i wish i could have gone home with her. oh T, can i just belong to you?