content note: mentions of depression, mentions of anxiety around death/illness of others (not detailed)

lately I've been having some "good" days (good as in I feel like I'm feeling supported, or I've worked through some things with my T, etc). but one thing I've noticed about my "good" days is that it often comes with the fear of crashing and returning to one of my "bad" days.

for example, I'll have a good day because I'm feeling supported by my friends even though I'm struggling. I'll think about how grateful I am for my good day--but then I'll suddenly get anxious about something awful happening to my friends, like illness, death, accidents, etc. then I either spend the rest of my day being anxious/sad (good day ruined), or I continue on but now carrying the fear of crashing into a bad day again...

part of me feels like I shouldn't be dividing myself into "good" and "bad" days anyway... but sometimes I do wish I could have one "good" day without fear.

does anyone else experience something similar? how do you usually work through this fear of crashing? hope this all makes sense.