I am wondering about this topic. I am not facing this issue right now, but it's come up for me lately about long distance vs. in person relationships.

My ex and I were long distance for 8 out of 12 months of our relationship. I realized recently that I fell in love with the person he was when long distance, and was not in love with the person I saw in real life, in person. He wooed me over the phone. He made these big statements about how he would treat me. He made all these promises to me. He had big dreams and goals.

When when we finally moved in together, it was a total nightmare. He was not at all the person that I thought he was or how he presented himself to be when we were long distance. So, this makes me think that long distance relationships can be problematic for just this reason.

Now, that is NOT to say that LDRs cannot work out....

BUT, I think it is very easy to be fooled by someone when you're only on the phone periodically, texting and Skyping from afar.

You only see a portion of the full person, how they are, and what they are like in real life. You don't see their living quarters, how they live, what they do on a daily basis or what they are like on a daily basis. You don't know how they will treat you when you are with them daily. You don't know their moods. When that goes on for a long time without seeing them in person, it's easy to believe in the small portion of the person you experience.

I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience? That the long distance person is very different from the real person you see on a daily basis?