Thinking about making this its own thread... what would you want his policy to be?

I talked to my T in depth about what I want her policy to be even it if it might be too intrusive and really not my place. For me it wasn't just death, I also included significant injury or illness that would result in extended leave or termination. The sum of it though was I wanted an in person form of closure. I can get on with life without the closure, I do significantly better with closure, not only from person but from space too. So....

• In the case of extended leave, I'd like have set interactions with someone that could keep me posted as to progress and condition, and as soon as possible, have an interaction with her or receive communication from her directly. I might request something from her, like maybe one of the objects I've left with her in her office to be picked up so I would have it at home.
  
• In the case of terminating event, I would like to be able to say goodbye to her office in person and decide what of the things I've left with her, I would continue to leave with her and which I would bring home. I would like to see her one more time in person. I would like to stay in contact with her at some level even if it was just an illusion on my part - ie, I send letters and believe they are read to her type of deal. This could be through another T or through the family. I would also like to receive a letter from her regarding her thoughts about me and our work together (yes, some kind of I'm sorry this is happening, I enjoyed our time together, I care about you).
  
• In the case of her death, I again would like to be able to say goodbye to the space. I would like to say goodbye to her in person and if she was laid to rest in a public space, I'd like to know where that was - because yes, I would visit it for a while. Here too, I would like to receive a letter from her regarding her thoughts about me and our work together. I think I would like to see a T that knew her on some level as a transition and to help through the grief.

And... the outcome of this discussion.... I have no clue because she hasn't told me . Do I think it is too much of a client? Yep, I surely do. Do I feel bad for having these wants, not most days. Right now, not at all, we have recently reconnected through the transference again and a large portion of me feels like I need this level of an ending; after all, a large part of me sees her, feels her as mommy and to lose one's ideal mommy, well that is just hard.

I am not jealous of her friends and family, her private time, or other clients. It is in the endings that I need to feel like I am taken cared of, that she has made plans for me, specifically me, that even in these situations she has thought of and is willing to give the most she can (yes, this means within what she has determined to be her boundaries) to ensure that she does no harm. (something more here - isn't there always)