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I feel judged sometimes also ..... having said that, it's MY problem that I feel judged ... but I feel paranoid too .... sometimes with good reason, sometimes not....

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I wonder if I come here for that specific reason. I need others' perspectives, and judging is good in certain circumstances. My perceptions are so extreme and all over the place, and unfortunately, because I am generally a pessimist, I often (always) go directly to the negative.

Most people in my life get caught up in having to deal with my emotional behaviours, and that takes them away from what I am trying to say (I am so Scarlet O'Hara dramatic, it's actually pathetic), but now I am realizing that it is not all about how I say it, but what I say, too (although...body language makes up 80+ % and what we say, only 15%, if that?). Look at how I wordy I got just to explain that I was feeling judged! And to tell you the truth, it was strictly related to my current emotional state. Paranoia, just as you stated.

When I can say the same thing on-line, read the responses, freak out silently, I can then begin to consider the "realities" behind the responses. I can't really do that once I have "spun" someone out of their own mind IRL.

In the case of this thread, it is obvious that I just needed reassurance that my being here is okay, no matter how badly I may have (or think I may have) %#@&#! up.

I am also seeing the way I am going about it, is, well, rather childish in nature. Gotta change this...

I am glad for the posts I've been getting. Some have been gentle in their opinions, some have shown me that they support me whole-heartedly, which confirms their own feelings as well (I'm hoping that is also a good thing), and some have given some very straight forward and constuctive criticism (ouch).

And ALL are good for me!