How do you know if you're in a mixed episode? I feel depressed, have no interest in anything, and am close to tears all the time. On on the other hand I can't sleep, am irritable, anxious, and am experiencing horrible nervous tension.

If this is a mixed episode, what can I do? I have an appointment with my psychiatrist, but it's not until February 7. She is booked way out and it's hard to get appointments. There's really nobody else I can see because they aren't in my PPO network.

I'm taking:

Lamictal 450 mg
Trazodone 200 mg for sleep
Clonazepam 1.5 to 2 mg as needed for anxiety

I was on Lithium but had to stop because my blood levels were too high. I cannot and will not take an antipsychotic (I was on Abilify for years and it caused tardive dysenisia which fortunately went away. NEVER AGAIN.) Likewise, I was on Wellbutrin for years, but finally had to stop because of lack of sleep and causing manic behavior.

I am extremely reluctant to go on anything that causes weight gain because I worked very hard to lose 80 pounds in the last year.

But, I can't take this any more. Is it worth it to gain weight so I can feel better? I think putting weight back on would make me even more depressed than ever.

I feel just awful.