Our situations are not the same, but some cruel experiences over the past year—I finally got the ending I wanted with No. 3, only to have her take it away by contacting me against my wishes a mere 73 days later (that’s the short version)—have suggested to me that it’s often not possible to get the ending we want or need in therapy, in fact, in any relationship.

If you’ve gotten through a year okay despite the pain (I envy you, I’m not at all sure I’ll be able to do that), I would leave it be. You’ve been wounded, and it left a scar, but if seeing her again, even if it went as well as possible, would open that wound, I don’t think it’s worth the price of more pain.