I can completely relate to what you’re describing. I am in my early 40’s, and worked steadily throughout my career until 2016. I kept advancing up the career ladder, but either left / got fired from 5 jobs between 2011 – 2016. After getting let go from the last in a string of career failures, my wife knew something was up. I was admitted to the psych ward and diagnosed with Bipolar I with Depression.

The quote that really resonated with me was “My mind does not work as well as it did in the past. I frequently forget what I was about to do.” I feel that there's been a weakening of my mental facilities. I completed an extremely challenging MBA program while working a demanding job, and helping my wife raise 2 kids (when able to). This strenuous period led to burnout, and now I feel like my brain is "fried."

I did end up taking up a position several levels of seniority beneath my previous executive title. Even that I found too stressful. I found myself unable to concentrate in meetings, recall information discussed, and follow up. I ended up leaving the job after 9 months, and am now living off of disability, Social Security, and unemployment.

I am fortunate to have a very supportive wife. I’d lashed out at her for over a year during my manic phase, and nearly got divorced. Fortunately, she knew this wasn’t the “real me,” and forced me to face my demons. I am hoping to find work sometime in the future. However, right now I am focusing on getting better (physically and mentally), so that when I return to work I don’t succumb to the same pitfalls that led me to this place.

And don’t worry – you are not a “a needy incapable weakling.” It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge the challenges in your life and seek help. I wish you the best of luck in your return to employment; I know it’s not easy.

Cheers