so ok, it's Artie's Confession Time, couchies. Pull up a chair for the latest in my t saga. I am weak, I couldn't help it. (Please nobody say "I knew it!" ok? Thanks.)

Or maybe just likely because I'm sleep deprived right now - I called her. we briefly talked on the phone first about this latest bout of intense transference. and then i went after work today to dig into it some with her. It was a difficult but very, very productive session, I cried a couple of times, told her exactly what she had said/done that set it off (the "what i want doesn't matter" thing) and she said she could see how it would have. It was quite raw and unfiltered stuff. I think (I didn't tell her this part) that I finally realized that the whole 'we can't be friends' thing is what allowed me to freely say everything that I said this evening and not worry about it.

Then we worked with my recent dreams some. Amazing stuff there. Anyway, I am refreshed, and very glad I broke down and let myself call her.

And, much, much to her credit, she did not ask about scheduling again. It's up to me to call if and when I want to.

Have I lost what was left of my mind??!