Thanks for sharing, QuietMind. I wonder why you and I feel guilty after Googling when most people don't, and why that makes us confess. If others do feel guilt they are able to keep it from their T's. Also, is it only okay to Google the T, and not their family? Or does the "it's out there so it's public" apply to their family too?

My T told me Wednesday that she hates Facebook so she doesn't have an account anymore. I know her adult kids do, though. I used to look them up but I don't anymore.

My T says I'm perceptive. I can guess when something is wrong like when I figured out about her divorce before she told me. That wasn't by looking her up.

Maybe I see neutrality as negative too because I have a need to know a lot about my T. Because of my borderline diagnosis, T said she limits what she discloses. She said it would never be enough for me because of wanting to merge with her. She doesn't like labels and diagnoses. This was one of the few times she brought it up. Also that I could be pushing her away before she pushes me away, another BPD behavior. I don't know if it would be better for me to know more about her or not. When I feel present with her, and closely connected, it is good enough for me.

Again, thanks for sharing! It was interesting to read.