I've always worked, which has provided a framework for living. I was laid off in August 2017, though, and my whole life changed. UE stipulates that three (legitimate) job searches have to be reported each week; I live in a rural area, so finding prospects wasn't easy. I dutifully submitted my UE claims, though, hoping against hope that nothing would pan out because I was growing more and more doubtful that I could function in the workplace. Then, to my amazement, I got three offers in one week. I picked the least stressful, with as little people contact as possible, and I started the job this week. I'm older, too, so my ability to retain information is diminished. This has been my approach...maybe something will be helpful?

I take copious and laborious notes. I "joke" with my trainers that my learning "style" is that I'm in a fog and generally overwhelmed at the beginning, but that everything will click at once and I'll never have to ask another question. I've told them that I will no doubt ask the same questions repeatedly but asked them to try to bear with me because I actually DO have a measurable IQ...it'll just take a while for them to detect it. So here's the deal: I use humor to (try to) cover up my fear, which is substantial. I strive to learn just a couple of things a day. I believe that an upbeat attitude covers a multitude of sins, so I've gone in every day with a smile and walk briskly with good posture; they selected me from a number of other candidates, so I must have SOMEthing to offer. At the end of the first week, I told them that I was delighted with the position and would probably have to start from scratch on Monday since I would forget everything over the weekend.

Oh...one day this week I asked to just observe and take notes, and I "hid in the shadows" and wrote four pages of questions based on the types of issues my trainers had to deal with throughout the day. I could be wrong, but I think they were kind of impressed, and this exercise had a lot of value for me; it gave me a feel for the corporate culture, it took less energy than actual working, and it also gave them a break for having to "entertain" me non-stop, which can be exhausting for them, too. Even though my meds are strictly scheduled and none are p.r.n., I carried one of each tablet/capsule with me to work because it made me feel safer somehow.

So, anyway, that's what I'm doing. I'm fortunate to have been hypomanic this week but held the lid down somehow. I'm bordering on manic right now (trembly, overtalkative, WAY excited, up at 4:00 this morning and frantically active)...but WAIT! I haven't taken my meds yet this morning!

The worst that can happen is that they think I'm incompetent or that I have to go into the hospital -- again -- but what the heck. Not the end of the world.