I don't think you can change him. It's been five years and he has shown you who he is. He prioritizes his family's opinions and desires over yours. He probably always will. Could you imagine what it would be like if you were married into that family? What if he expects you to cater to their every whim as well??

It will be hard, but in the long run you may be happier cutting your losses on this relationship and finding someone local who is more mature and considerate.