Yeah. My therapist really likes Briere's stuff on the "self trauma model" (I posted something about that in another forum). I found a lecture that he had given available free online, so I listened to that the other day. Briere talks about how the traumatic remembering is the brain trying to process the stuff. He talks about how the active reliving / remembering is an adaptive response, the brain trying to process it. But sometimes it doesn't do so well.

Mine isn't doing so well, I guess. There was something else, too... Another memory that gets me. Something that I'm embarrassed to talk about because I'm embarrassed that it has effected me so...

I'm trying to figure what it was about this situation that makes it one of these things that recurrs to me. Was the lady like my mother in not noticing my distress and proceeding on not realising how much she was hurting me? Yeah. I never lashed out at my mother, though. With my mother, I'd just curl up. And never scream out loud. Not sure what all that was about... Just... Feeling really invalidated, I guess.

Thanks for caring.