There is something I forgot to mention in my last post which could be very important.

I don't think I have EVER had morning wood (morning erection)! – even when I was 17 etc, despite now being way past 40.
... is this a sign of psychological impotence (mind), or physical impotence (body)?

I found a blog post by therapist Mark Tyrrell on his 'UNK' site 'Treating psychological impotence':

"We know that during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, men without physiological impotence experience erections as they sleep and that ‘morning wood’ often occurs because the minutes before awakening tend to contain more REM-rich dream sleep than other parts of the sleep cycle."

If my morning impotence (and intimacy impotence, as I can't get hard in front of a woman) is at least in some part Physical, surely I should be seeing a Urologist (physical specialist)!?

... but if I saw a Urologist, what do they actually do to fix this type of problem?