This is my 3rd T throughout my life. The other 2 I did not have the transference as I have now. Due to that transference, I believe I do expect more from her. I don't know if that is fair or not - I am putting a lot in her hands and I need her to be able to be gentle with me as we move through this process and sit with the various things that come up.

That includes many of the things that have already been listed. One thing I haven't seen, is I need to know that she takes care of her self so I don't feel like I have to take care of her. What does that look like? Basically not change her stance on something or her life on something because I "throw a tantrum" or just tell her how much it hurts, such as her going on vacation and what not.

I also need to know that she will not promise what she can not deliver on - "always be there", "never leave", type of things. I need her to tell me the truth about these types of things when I ask.