MayiforceK9r, may I ask a tangent issue as it recently came up with me?!!! Well, I will & you can feel free to ignore. You said...we also have Paranoid Schizophernia. Does that mean one or more of your alters have been dxed Paranoid? Or the system as a whole? Thanks for considering this tangent.
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Originally Posted by MavriforceK9r
Hello. My name is Dan and I'm a multiple. I sometimes call myself a "Controlled Multiple" because I don't know any better way to describe myself/selves. My first childhood trauma created a strong alter who is opposite of me as far as the kind of person that I am.
Possible trigger:
We don't get along well but, he can behave himself when he sees that it's necessary or to his advantage. There are others besides myself which I consider to be the original or the adult version of the original if that makes any sense. The child version of the original is still with us and we are all very protective over him. He's only let out when we're alone and feel that it's safe or sometimes around family and some others while myself and some of my other personalities monitor what's going on closely in order to protect him.
I've never told anyone this stuff before. It feels so strange. Anyway, I/We are all aware of one another all of the time and know what each other are thinking and feeling all of the time. It's kind of like a collective consciousness I think. So, yes, we can switch to different selves for handling different situations but, we are also subject to triggers. Now, we also have Paranoid Schizophrenia and are not sure if this next part has any connection with that or not but, I have had to create some additional personalities deliberately in order to handle certain things/situations or whatever. One of these added personalities helps to maintain order in the mind by keeping the others satisfied so, that they don't get bent out of shape or lash out at one another or at me. My bad alter is strong enough to take control sometimes and when he's out and fired up, none of us can stop him, not even one that I created to counter him which can be pretty frustrating at times. When he's out he stays out until he burns through his/our energy and eventually fades away, leaving me feeling physically drained and weak.
So, I was just wondering if anyone else here knows how it feels to be this way or have this interesting ability to create and add new personalities to help manage things. |