View Single Post
 
Old Jan 05, 2018, 07:35 PM
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 DP_2017 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio View Post
I don't know about him luring you along. I'm not there with you. It could be that right now you are not friends and what he thought in his mind when he heard your thoughts was that it was too intimate for the relationship you currently have with him. Again, not trying to defend him. He handled it extremely poorly, leaving you hurt and confused. It also sounds like he was not attuned to you and didn't see how much it affected you.

BTW, I wanted to let you know that it was well over a year before I physically touched my T for the first time. I had gotten to a place where I was starting to think that she would not touch me because of being disgusting (I'm gender non-conforming, initially I don't think of myself as disgusting but I had recently started taking testosterone and that left me feeling like I was contaminated). My only allowed touch is a handshake; however, she does allow it to linger so it's not all business level handshake. Incidental contact is also not a boundary - I needed this spelled out for me; that I would not be "bad" if we accidentally touched.
So you think he could still want to be friends AFTER therapy but just said no to the here and now because its not the case? That makes sense I guess. I'm scared to even have the after therapy convo now though based on how this went.

Over a year is probably where I'd still be if we didn't mutually agree to try the hug thing. I think a handshake is just fine, it's something