Things went downhill with my scary secret I shared with him, his reaction shocked me and made me very sick feeling. I feel so perverted and dirty and filled with shame. I wish I had never opened my mouth.

Otherwise things went ok. We discussed some goals for my year and steps to get there. We discussed how my grief issues are going at the moment, everything was just fine but I was blindsided and it's all I can think about. I am too scared to even confess anything more. Totally backfired. Rejection is awful, especially from someone who means so much. I have literally showered 2x already because of how gross I feel over what I told him.