Ya he did say that he was proud of me for saying it, because I had it written down but opted to just say it instead and I was trembling and about to vomit. It was terrifying. I apologized at least 2x for it. He told me he understands that feeling but it still bothers me that he claims its only because its too friend like and he has done way more friend like things, today was no different.

I hate the rules of therapy and how it make you so restricted, I am in my head enough as it is but when it comes to this, I'm constantly freaking out about stuff I may say or do being wrong. I am not able to be myself completely in therapy ever because of this.... and now I am not sure I feel comfortable telling him anything beyond this.... if it has to do with him. I am sick of a life of rejection. I don't need it from him too