I feel terrible for the amount of times I’ve been IP, but I’d say roughly half of mine weren’t needed and that’s why I feel so terrible. I could have been safe if I wanted to, I just didn’t want to, I wanted a rest, so I convinced people I wasn’t going to be safe when I knew I would never do anything permanent. I feel god damn awful about that.

I felt terribly, terribly guilty about my past IP stay (in November) but I honestly wasn’t sure I wouldn’t turn on myself, I felt like my brain was spilt in two and battling me, trying to kill me. I couldn’t take it. I do feel like that one was necessary, but I felt so bad about leaving my son with my mother. She really couldn’t handle him. If I ever have to go in again I’m gonna try to get my brother to take him.