Your sister is quite an instigator. Her asking about your anniversary plans sounds like that was just digging around for a pretense to start button-pushing to get you upset. When you did get upset, she got exactly what she wanted. Any plans about your anniversary are really between your boyfriend and you. The best answer might have been that the two of you are still thinking about it. Your boyfriend needs to be loyal to you and not let himself be used by your sister to be part of her button-pushing. You might have a talk with him and say, "We need to keep our business about our relationship and our plans between us. My sister needs to mind her own business." She is obviously very manipulative. Any time she asks you anything, she's probably looking to start some crap.

Commemorating your anniversary does not have to involve spending more money than is available. It can be getting some ice cream and having it at a nice park while you enjoy the scenery. The main thing is to have time with your boyfriend away from your mum and sister.

You and your boyfriend need to keep some things as your own business and not get your mum in the middle of it either. When you are upset with your boyfriend, don't right away report that to your mum. Don't use her to be a referee between him and you. Your family is way too much up in your business. When you are working out something with your boyfriend, your family has no business even being part of the discussion.

Part of what's hard is that he and you don't have your own place to be living your relationship with some privacy, which all couples need. So you have to create some space for yourselves. Go for a walk to talk things over with your bf. If he and you are in your bedroom together, no one else should be in there. You are dealing with three people at one time, which is altogether too much.

It's good that you are in therapy. Maybe your therapist could do a session with both your bf and you to explore ways to keep your family out from in the middle of your relationship. Your bf should not be ganging up with your family against you. But you also should not be looking for your mum to take sides with you against your bf. No ganging up!

You have way more power than you have any idea about. You can use your power to get more control of what's happening to you. Don't look for your mum to deal with your bf for you. Get people out from in your business and take ownership of your own life.

Normally, no one has the right, legally, to hold you down. You are the owner of your body. But, if you are grabbing knives and threatening self-harm, then you do give others the right to restrain you. Stop giving other people power. Take more control. Try it, and you'll get to like it. It's no fun being at the mercy of three people taking turns pairing off to gang up on you. But don't hand them the opportunity.