Been swimming a lot the last few weeks and my Fibromyalgia has caught up with me. Now I’m very sore and tired. Hoping to get back into swimming next week as it is so good for my mental and physical health. The ocean calms me and it is exciting to see all the wildlife in there. Tomorrow I work so hopefully it doesn’t make my symptoms worse.

Mentally I am fairly well. My mood swings from a little down to upbeat but nothing to worry about. I am overwhelmed with sadness at times over my hollow life but I am trying to change that. Today my ex-husband moved in, for a few days anyway. His parents kicked him out so he is trying to find somewhere to live. It is nice having the company as we are good friends, but it is stressful in the circumstances. It is heartbreaking what his parents have done to him (long story), but I’m glad he is free of them. I used to live with them when we were married. It was hell and I was only there for 18 months. They literally drove me over the edge into insanity. My ex couldn’t see it at the time and it was what led to our divorce.

Now, I’m trying to recover from that and so many other traumas in my life, including the illnesses themselves. I find myself standing, staring into space often. I just shut down. Will have to talk to my T about this when he gets back from leave. Think it is the PTSD rearing it’s head again. My goal for this year is to get my health back on track and not be hospitalised. A big ask when I have been hospitalised around 25 times in the last eight years.