I don't think the googling is what you actually feel guilty about. I think it's the underlying desire behind the behavior that causes the guilt. You desire to invade your T's privacy and cross her boundaries. When I Google my T, I am attempting to feel closer to her without imposing on her or requiring anything special from her. With you, it's the opposite, as proven by your compulsion to tell her what you find. I don't think you are motivated by guilt at all.

I also think you struggle because you aren't willing to accept that you will never have the relationship you seek with your T. Sure, you've given some lip service to the notion, but I don't think you've allowed yourself to really believe the reality because it's too painful. Instead, you continue to look for loopholes. Also, it's important to understand that you don't "need" to know a lot about your T, you want to know a lot. Your T is trying to give you what you actually need by limiting information - but she can't control your inclination to sabotage yourself.