View Single Post
 
Old Jan 06, 2018, 05:23 AM
cinnamon_roll's Avatar
cinnamon_roll cinnamon_roll is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 272
Does your T have psychoanalytical training? A lot of those would quite often keep very rigid boundaries. And wouldn't budge.

With regard to the "robot"-feeling, shutting out the emotions. I can totally identify with that. For me, the challenge lies in learning to feel again, to *allow* myself to have emotions and to feel them as well and, last but not least, to express them, hopefully in a somewhat adequate way...

This can be tricky, since for me, a lot of emotional stuff comes delayed. Which means when the situation itself is over and I'm "safe". Sometimes this can be hours later, not so long ago this even could be days later.

With one of my former Ts I had an arrangement, that I could send her an email and tell her what's been coming up in between sessions. She wouldn't reply indepth, just acknowledge that she's got the email and that we can pick things up in the next session. I found this helpful, because otherwise I would sit in the next session and don't feel anything, wouldn't be able to (emotionally) connect to what's been happening. And T being in the picture helped since she could ask the right questions and nudge me a little bit to go down that "rabbit hole" again.

Last T had a "no email" rule except for organizational stuff. She said she wanted me to learn to bring those things up in session. Directly. And face to face. To hold on to the emotions. This proved to be difficult. Especially in the beginning I found it really hard to hold on to the connection I felt in the session. It seemed that emailing former T inbetween (not each week, but maybe every 2-3 weeks or so) helped me to hold on to her "presence" in my mind). I started writing down notes of whats been going on in the session and afterwards, reading those notes right before the next session helped me to find an emotional connection again to what's been happening.

Both Ts would never contact me inbetween sessions unless I contacted them first, except when they had to cancel a session due to being ill.

I'm sorry that you're struggeling with this right now. Maybe it would help to talk in session how this makes you feel? It might help you to get down to the underlying issues, since I believe that struggles with a particular form of a setting isn't so much a "problem" in itself but rather a "symptom" for a deep emotional need and/or longing...
Hugs from:
SalingerEsme
Thanks for this!
SalingerEsme