granite, this is such painful stuff. You have written many times about not wanting to make any of your therapy about the relationship and have it end badly like some of the reports here on pc. The thing is, everyone's experience is different and not all therapy relationships end badly if the client expresses feelings about the therapist that feel vulnerable to have. Those feelings likely exist anyway, so the more you say no, the more they take the whole dynamic on a downward spiral. Pushing away and denying feelings can have the opposite effect you want--protection from harm.

It's just something to consider. I can't speak to what all is going on in your sessions, except to say it sounds painful to the point of being counterproductive. That doesn't make the therapy or therapist bad, but the dynamic does seem like it needs to shift.