If you have these inner challenges where you feel a part of you has a need and wants to talk about that need, it's important that you give that part of yourself a way to vent. It sounds like your adult self believes that the part of you that has a need doesn't deserve to have a voice.

I have learned that when I get triggered and make an effort to vent it, even if I repeat it, it leads to an unmet need in me that I had not really recognized I had. This is something a therapist who specialized in doing trauma work with patients helped me understand. I have learned that flashbacks, be it emotional or visual are points in my life that traumatized me that I never processed or resolved. It's important to understand that we learn to live around a lot of unhealthy and dysfunctional environments, yet, we often learn based on whatever our age and life experience is at the time. The human brain is designed to figure out how to navigate in a way that helps us figure out how to survive, and the human brain is set up to record whatever a person experiences and how these experiences can lead to the individual feeling threatened in some way. The instincts we are all born with are "fight, flight, freeze and fawn" and when we are very young we do not have enough life experience to know what these instincts and reactions mean. We take many of our cues from the other human beings that are in our environment and we do not know the difference between healthy and dysfunctional and we are all very dependent for several years of our lives.

When you experience a trigger, it can be very confusing depending on your age when something caused you to feel threatened and confused. Personally, I was shocked by the flashbacks I began to experience and I had not realized the brain could experience something from the past this way. However, because we have gained so much in our knowledge of the brain, I have slowly learned how the brain actually reacts to trauma and because our first response is to survive, often we don't store trauma in a complete story that has language. Actually, for young children most of the trauma they experience is based on their physical needs and with that these needs are based on if they are warm and fed. When babies cry they are crying because something hurts and babies are very sensitive and hunger in a baby is painful, painful enough so it makes them cry out and that lets the mother know they have a need.

It's very important to allow yourself to vent whenever you can. If you have a part of you that has this urge to call or talk to your therapist, don't push that need away, instead sit down and see if that part of you can put whatever that need is into words. Personally, I have found that I get triggered and vent and repeat, yet, there is always something "new" that I have figured out a way to put into words that I can add to this experience that tends to keep getting triggered to come forward. There is something I had missed in that experience and I have slowly learned that it has a lot to do with how old I was when this trauma took place. It's actually a lot like going back to a time where you could only count to 10 and even though you have gained a lot more knowledge about counting since that time, you are still at an age where you could only count to 10 in that trigger. Understand?