I am sorry you are hurting . After following your posts here about insisting how the future friendship is what you want and how is would not be problematic, I unfortunately was kind of waiting when the heartbreak would come. Maybe it is better now earlier than much later after investing much more emotions and hopes. It is ok to have all these feelings towards your T, but it is his job to keep the boundaries and the relationship professional. Sounds to me he has failed that and you are not receiving the professional therapy you deserve.