Current T has brought up her countertransference / her feelings (which she sometimes called projective identification / projection) towards me — it’s always been in the sense of her feeling maternal / “Mama Bear-ish” (her words) towards me.

Every time though it’s been either when she’s thought I was doing something crazy (E.g. sudden road trips) or when I’ve been really angry at her (and sort of accusing her of screwing me over).

So, I’m not sure if I really believe any of it — when I insisted that her angry responses toward me were driven by her stuff, she refused to acknowledge that it was the case and just said it’s a normal response.

I do believe that she cares about me and goes out of her way (things well beyond what she’s paid for) to make sure I’m okay.

There are of course moments of deep connection but I don’t necessarily think it’s anything related to transference/countertransference specifically (although I’m sure it’s all connected).