I think the word counter transference is so distracting and not a very real description of what is actually happening in the room for the therapist.
I think when we use the word counter transference it specifically describes the feelings of what we evoke in the therapist and not what is actually happening between you.
I remember last month asking my t what was going on for her because she wasn’t very present and was getting emotionally upset at what I was talking about because it was triggering her own heartbreak. Once I mentioned it she said, yes, she was feeling flat and noticed she was feeling that hurt. She apologised and said there was stuff going on. I appreciated her honesty and her ability to put that aside and carry on. If she had of said no I am fine or it’s none business this is about you, I wouldn’t be able to work with a blank slate t.
I think it depends on how relational your t is too.
My t has been trained as a relational t and so have I so we can be open and honest with each other.