Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind
I guess I'm puzzled as to how hugs is OK but a pat on the arm, or brief arm around the shoulder = sexual ("girlfriend like"). Prolonged arm around shoulder maybe I can see that, but not brief.
A pat on the arm, brief arm around the shoulder is less intimate than a hug to me. They're all friend like, already.
My T and I progressed from a pat on the arm or knee, to hugs after a discussion. Now sometimes she briefly puts an arm around me during a hug.
I'm so sorry your T has conveyed he's not OK with the touch you're asking about. I'm glad he's not taking hugs away. I'm puzzled at him not being OK with the touch you're asking about.
Some (in my opinion, more unorthodox therapists) T's hold client's hand, some touch feet, some even snuggle clients and stroke client's hair.
Personally for me, I needed touch because I believed so strongly that "I am too disgusting to touch".
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I'm with ya here. Months ago he even showed me a comfort hand hold, used my hands and told me he does it with clients sometimes so I thought it was ok to wish I had that during a tough session but when I said that, it was like he freaked out.
He still stands by the arm around shoulder thing too, no idea. I'm confused.
I like you think I am too disgusting. There is no way I can see myself trusting someone and being comfortable withs someone again in this sense to want to touch them, so its just hopeless for me.
I am glad to know he is right along with how I was raised, to believe touch=sex.
Makes me feel spectacular *rolls eyes*
I wish I had said more, I'm tempted to email but I don't wanna be annoying. He is probably sick of me already