He can refer me all he wants but I wont see anyone else. I'm not going through therapy again

I'd rather just suffer.... but after he said the feelings for you part he mentioned friendship or otherwise... so no idea...

I don't have romantic feelings for him, thats just it. To me, the touch was simply a step in my progress because I felt comfortable with him. I wanted to see if i could actually touch someone i trust without losing my mind... it was never, oh geez we need to get it on now.

At this point I'm still unsure about returning but I do know I wish we could of talked more, I am still having so much to say and my next appointment is too long away

I'm sad because all this time, especially dealing with my grief he was so good to me and truly made me feel like I matter and he cared... now all I feel is how worthless and gross I am. I think I just need to give up on hope. I am unfixable