Is this what you have always done? It may have worked with the mother, and helped you survive, but you are free now. Is it possible to do something else?

I agree with the statement that your T may not even recognize that her reactions are countertransference reactions. Her anger reactions indicate that she has resistance in seeing this. I also agree that until your T can see the countertransference and deal with it properly, the experience for you does equate to abusive. Thirdly, I agree with the suggestion of having a conversation about the therapy relationship without it being therapy, because your T needs to be able to see the countertransference reaction, deal with their own feelings appropriately to stop harming you, and help you work though this reenactment.