I read what you wrote about emphatically not wanting a romantic or sexual relationship, but even if that is true for you , T is taking it that way or feeling that way himself. He isnt leaving it in the friendship only category , and that is why you are getting periodic comments about girlfriends etc on here. You might really have a rarified singular window on the world- I love people for that. In 99 percent of cases though, specified touch like that is about something more than friendship. Even if you are that 1 percent, your T is not and not reading you that way in my opinion. To be fair, it is hard to imagine asking for friendship with a T and asking for touch at the same time, and having them not be related straightforwardly. I only see it that way bc I am in the 99 percent, and not walking that mile in your shoes. I dont actually think working through a fear of touching people requires touching people literally, for whatever it matters. Your T is taking better care of you by saying all this, than allowing touching to go forward.
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Originally Posted by DP_2017
He called me and we did talk about, sadly it was minimal help. I didn't wanna ramble on the phone forever so I tried to keep it short.
He said randomly "You are not the first person to develop feelings for me" which is weird since he already knew about the friendship thing
Then he later randomly said "The weird thing is, if I had feelings for you, legally I have to refer you to someone else" I did not get the point of saying that at all.
I was pretty quiet. I wish I'd said more but ya he basically said that his office is a safe space but not a practice lab. Couples can't practice sex stuff in there so it was the same for me. He basically insinuated that he was associating touch with sex feelings... which is where my fear came from, early on he knew that I was scared of touching people because they would assume I wanted sex from them, and look where we are
My T is gone... its like a stranger I no longer know. I'm less comfortable with him already, I am not sure what I can even say anymore. I feel ****** but its good he called. Although he was completely straight laced, no jokes. Nothing normal feeling. He had no real answer for how I'm supposed to work through this if I can't practice with him. So I think he has no idea what to do with me. I'm hopeless
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