Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this. How did C change his e-mail policy? I think you may have said something about him wanting you to contact him less, but didn't explain what the change was. Is he actually limiting you? Or just saying he hopes you can cut back? MC saying I needed to cut back on outside contact felt like a knife in the heart...because multiple times, I'd asked him about it before, and he'd always said it was fine, that he just couldn't guarantee how quickly he could read or respond (if at all, apparently...). I'm still not 100% clear on what crossed the line about a month ago (he said it "bothered" him that week, but had not in the past...)
Though I guess I've managed not to do any outside contact with him for...(consults calendar) 26 days...
|
No, actually, what he did was email "I'm changing the rules. Phone calls are now free. Call me as much as you want."
I know most people would be overjoyed by this. It panicked the crap out of me, because I thought he was changing a well-established practice-wide policy for me. Anything that singles me out like that or communicates "you're special" now scares me because of S.
In my session on Thursday, he said that his ultimate goal for me is to need to contact him less -- as in "I want our relationship to be so solid that you don't need to contact me, because you have internalized me and our relationship."
That said, I am still struggling with thinking "His goal is for me to contact him less, so I should push to contact him less." Except he also said it frustrates him when I force myself to not contact him - his rule is and has always been I can contact him as much as I want. It's just, phone calls and texting were always paid for... now we decided phone calls over 15 min will still be paid for.