Yes I also thought the "therapy is not a practice lab" comment was an odd thing to say. People often become comfortable saying things or experiencing emotions for the first time in therapy, which they then go on to do outside of therapy as well. Other people here at PC have also had touch in therapy which no doubt makes touch outside of therapy easier later on.

I know you feel like you couldn't do therapy again, but I think it's possible you've never had real therapy with this T. It's no wonder you long to be friends, it sounds like he's treated you as a friend, with the large amount of self-disclosure and lack of professional boundaries. You might find that proper therapy is not such a roller coaster and is safer and more consistent. I understand that changing T's is not what you want right now. I only say this because there might come a time in the future when you would consider it, and I think you might have a very different experience with someone else.