Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
I hope you write and say more about this, about what you do want, about what kind of friendship you envisioned going on between you after therapy- kind of the topography of it and the specifics of how it might have played out. . It is hard for me to understand if you really have no feelings at all of attraction, romance anything to this person? So many times things are all mixed together, emotions are, feelings are, and those feelings too wax and wane often in many scenarios. I am not speaking for your T, or agreeing with him, but just saying that throughout all your posts, I also read between the lines that romance was brewing, even though listening to you here I was wrong.
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At times I thought he had feelings for me but no..... I was on the friendship side of it, other than my urges for psychical contact, not sexual. Like my biggest dream was to hang out and watch a movie together or go to the park with my dog. For me, I've never really wanted a romantic relationship with anyone. I have been tainted in so many ways for that to be a thing I truly want. Do I like him? Sure but as a person, he was funny and kind etc... Do I find him attractive? Nope. not in the slightest.
Honestly when I had these urges I cried after I left, because I felt wrong to even want simple touch from someone. There is no way I could ever actually be a romantic relationship with someone.... so I don't really "go there" feelings wise, I've always been in the friend zone with guys but like I said, several times, I and someone else I talk to about my T, had said he had feelings for me, I might of reflected off it a bit but no, I just want to be friends. However that is out the window now too so does not really matter