I know I should get rid of the stash, but I don’t know if I can. The thing is, for the last however many years I have stashed meds. The minute I lose a stash I start up a new one. So I know getting rid of my stash isn’t really going to change anything. I will just start a new one.

I will try and get help though. My girlfriend is being supportive, and I’m trying to be open. It’s so hard to change the way I am, how I act, how I react. But I’m trying. I don’t know if it will be enough, generally when I start spiralling I’m never able to stop it. But I’m trying.