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Old Jan 07, 2018, 01:59 AM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MavriforceK9r View Post
This happened to Dan, our host self on a video game forum years ago that has a reputation for being abusive to new members.
He got into an argument there with the ring leader of a clique who (unknown to him at that time) ruled that forum with an iron fist.
The other guy attacked him in two threads without having been previously provoked so, G stepped in for Dan and called the guy out and they eventually had it out in a part of the forum setup for conflicts. After the argument was over or seemed to be over, DH taunted the clique leader in a PM because that's how DH messes with people who mess with Dan. It was a bad move that ended up causing Dan a great deal of stress and trauma as the clique leader and his friends began attacking Dan in unexpected, various, psychological ways using just about every form of emotionally distressing methods one can think of. They made it hard for him to leave the forum because he had unknowingly entered into a transaction with one of the clique members before things got out of hand.
Enduring weeks of abuse from these people over a measly thirtyfive dollars Dan finally gave in and admitted defeat at which point the clique leader stepped out and took a bow, proudly revealing that he'd orchestrated the entire asault
Still this wasn't enough as they all continued to abuse him and not a one of the people who claimed to have liked Dan tried to put a stop to it, nor did any of the moderators one of whom was in on it but, careful not to incriminate himself and the other mod in charge just flat out didn't care. At the end of it all a few people tried to get Dan to stay on the forum but, too much damage had been done and the experience almost turned him off to video gaming intirely. Dan left the forum after recieving his two games in the mail that he know longer had an interest in playing that still haven't been played to this day and will be sold in 2020 when they become official antiques. Though he partly brought the attack on himself by not doing research on that forum before signing up and lurking for a while to see how they treated people there before posting and ultimately made things worse by letting DH taunt the clique leader a bit, the overall abuse from these people was brutal and heartless and they derived great pleasure in carrying out the assault. The harassment continued even after pleas for mercy were issued by Dan and after leaving the forum behind Dan was cyber stalked with emails being hacked, viruses sent to emails, an entire small time email server being rendered useless (still a mystery that one) and Dan stopped foruming after that for five whole years. Also his taste in video gaming changed greatly and his interest in internet activities dwindled. When he got himself under control again he did extensive research on the clique and found that they had done this to many more people over the years but, had never been caught. Also we discovered that the clique leader is a self professed sociopath and very much proud of it. Dan is still wary of that clique even today and is careful to inspect his emails carefully and to stay away from that forum and other forums and groups associated with them. Dan may be naive but, he is no fool. He knows things about the stalker and his clique friends because it pays to know your enemies. So it was a hard lesson that cost us but, we survived it and are much more careful online and even in forums as a result.
God, that is awful. I am so sorry for Dan. Forums can be dangerous places because you never know how they will be run. Not speaking of here, just in general, they can be rife with trolls.

I was part of a forum for cycling a while back. I had gone on a midnight group ride and was upset at how they had treated me, the only female in the group. One of the members pretended to befriend me and riled me all up about the treatment I had received and convinced me to post a scathing review of the bike ride, which got picked up and posted on the forum, and then I got torn to pieces. What was worse, is this "friend" then commented on the thread and tore me to shreds himself, criticizing me, nothing he had said to my face, and joined the clique of people saying super hateful things about me.

I felt bad that I had been goaded into writing a more critical review than I had felt. Also, I was very young and impressionable at the time, and while they had treated me not so great, it also wasn't necessarily done out of hostility or dislike for me or women. They were just kind of ignorant about what their actions and words were doing. He had a choice to defend the group to me and help me see things in a balanced way or to light fire under me and talk me into writing the review that I did. I got used. Yes, it was my choice, I take responsibility. I learned from it. But man, that was a harsh thing to do to someone, because he knew that they would tear me apart.

However, the leader of the ride actually took some of the things I said seriously and took them to heart and instituted some changes in how they did things. I came out and participated in it again and had a much better time and became a regular of the group. They forgave me and I forgave them and bygones were made bygones...as time went by I witnessed how the "friend" interacted with people on social media and realized that he liked to befriend unsuspecting people then turn on them and turn people against them. It was his MO. I still see him do it to this day. He'll seem so reasonable and friendly and then you might do something taking his advice even, and he will turn on you and criticize you for taking his advice and call you an idiot.

I think the fact that the community saw his part in what happened is why they ended up forgiving me. I was very thankful that they saw what had really happened. And I felt very bad for my part in it, and I did apologize. It was a growing experience for me, learning to not let myself become someone's pawn and really think for myself. (Not that I didn't think for myself, but in a moment where I was upset, I let someone use my emotions against me, basically. I'm very careful about that now.)

So my point is, until you know anyone well, it's best to just assume you can't trust them. People have to earn trust. Especially online.

Seesaw
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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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