I am well aware I need psychiatric help and am probably a play ground of mental diseases. However I have just allowed myself to feel emotions let alone share them in a way I might even be understood. I am looking for a guidance that we will both mature from. I am in need of help but with how much is at stake I can not blindly hope that my life is not in incompetent counseling. This is going to be the most arduous and telling lesson of my life. I am fearful most of what I might find fuels me in the end.