Quote:
Originally Posted by monalisasmile
Lots of times and it really annoys t. She talks about the impact it had on her when they arrive.
I think we’ll good because that is how I felt when you said such and such... I know it’s childish but sometimes it has helped to send them.
Now I tell her I am angry in the here and now rather than texting about the there And then.
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I do that too, and T tells me how she feels about them. She has said she's felt rejected, hurt, wronged, frustrated, wanting to be more distant from me.
She says my anger is OK, but not how I express my anger. I feel ashamed because I don't know HOW I'm expressing anger inappropriately. When I send angry texts, I feel I'm expressing my anger in a polite yet clear way (I never swear at her or call her names, or deliberately word things to hurt her) but clearly it's not received that way, so I don't know how I'm expressing things wrong.
I'm working on expressing the anger "here and now" in session rather than after it. However I nearly always have a delayed reaction where I only realise some time later outside of session that something hurt.