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Originally Posted by anglemeasurer
It is because I brought it up. He thinks that it is very important to me else I would not have brought it up. He thinks I will bring it up again but I said I wouldn't. He is scared. I wish i could talk to him. I probably could as he hasn't said to never contact him. However I am too scared to go and see him. I feel he is a stranger now. That in itself hurts like crazy as we truly were emotionally and physically close. I want to tell him how I feel but I know it will push him away. I wish i understood why I am.so so hurt even after nearly 8 weeks. I have two kids asleep.upstairs and I am not being much of a mum to them.....my head is literally screwed and I don't know where to turn to make it better. I feel mentally ill :-( :-(
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If you've told him you won't bring it up again, and he believes you will anyways, there seems to be not much you can do here. Seems he's made up his mind. Perhaps he has other reasons that he has not revealed. If he is inexperienced and very independent, he may be afraid of a relationship altogether. Although three years is a long time to carry on.
I know it hurts immensely. It will take a long time to get past. Thing is, you were willing to sacrifice what you really wanted with this man. Is that truly what you want for yourself in the future? To never be able to live with the man you love so much? You have to think about this. Do you want marriage in your life? Kids? These are things to think about. If you are OK with never living together, that's one thing, but if deep down, you know or think that eventually you will want more of a commitment and a closer relationship with someone, then it is best that you let go of this man. He is not the one for you.